Crossroads and Buried Dreams

Academic dress for Phd in Singapore with descr...

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I used to have this dream . I would have a PHD by the time i was 30 .

Then both my parents became jobless
And got divorced and mother got  a debilitating case of fibroids and we got evicted . Three times

My dear dear sister  worked hard to sustain us till she was wrongly charged with theft  and had to resign
And father got a mass on his neck

So i buried that dream and got a job
And  a little rented house for all of us
Mother & Father went to the hospital and had their operations

The company i was working for almost shut down  so i went back to school to get my masters degree

Along the way I  met this wonderful man and we got married and had three babies
And as i graduated  so did my siblings

Five years later i can breathe
With four people working , the bills are shared .
Mother & Father have had their operations and are out of the woods
I feel like a 50 year old woman looking back at three lifetimes

The Christian life is one of crosses .
my job & and i are in a bad friendship
And i feel  that buried dream rising from the grave  coming back for air
At 29 , its probably doable but do i still want it ?  Isn’t it selfish ?

Do I already know the answer ? Am I overcomplicating everything ?

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2 Comments

  1. Katarina,

    This is a really nice post. Did you intend the punctuation to emphasize your point a la e e cummings because that is absolutely the effect and its wonderful.

    I’m looking forward to hearing more.

    Reply
  2. Nope totally unintentional – my english skills are not that good ! 🙂

    Reply

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