Bad marriage advice : How to keep your spouse

I have been married  4 years and have to say that I have heard my fair share of some really bad and sometimes irrational advice . Let me highlight why I have problems comprehending some of it .

1. It works on the premise that there is a formula that will guarantee you security from divorce : If you follow the set of rules lined up then you will be guaranteed a life long marriage . Defer to your husband always , make sure that the children are fed , bathed and ready to sleep when your husband walks through the door drop the baby weight as soon as the baby is borne and you will not end up like Sally next door .

2. It creates excuses for bad behavior : Is your husband yelling at you when he walks through the door ? Then you must be the one causing it . Did you for example try to tell him that you had a hard day with the kids ? How hard can it be ? After all he gets the tougher job which is looking for ways to provide . Really ?!!!!

4. It keeps spouses from dealing with the core  issues. If you spend some much time trying out all these tips and tricks then when will you discuss the gnawing feeling you both have that you may need to move to a smaller house or that grandpa is getting sicker and you have to maybe have him move in.

5. One of the spouses ends up doing the work – then feeling cheated . Unfortunately I cannot name even one person who has followed this so called super advice and is still married yet the advice keeps getting perpetrated . A lady close to me once told me in bitter tears “ Men are not reliable . How could he leave me after all I had sacrificed for him ?” My heart ached for her but mostly I wondered at what point during her marriage love had sunk to the point where she expected him to stick around because he owed her.

6. Its often touted as being biblical : I saved the best for last . I have heard people quote Ephesians so much in relation to women’s submission but only few ever complete the verse yet St. Paul is clear in outlining the roles of the spouses.

What advice qualifies as bad marriage advice to you ?

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